Markizano.NET

There are people that see the things that I write. There are people that see the amount of writing that I make, and when I see them in public they look at me and they say "man, that was a lot of writing mark, I don't think I could read it all." To that I reply: well heaven forbid you have an attention span greater than a goldfish and could possibly stand to read more than three sentences. Heaven forbid you get the brain capacity to think with that brilliant mind on your shoulders and use it to your greatest advantage. Because it would be so illegal to think, reflect, realize and grow... You, who have grown up and are all adult now, so that means you're exempt from learning? Meaning you have all the answers to the universe and everything in it? Now that you've gone to school, you're done learning, right?? The goobermint is full of idiots and you're contributing to this, how? By thumbing thru apps in your free time and making yourself stupid with the idiot b...

What is suicide to me and why is this something I'm suddenly making visible? It's to make the fight I face in the dark to the light. To bring the pain forth so it can be felt and dealt with accordingly. Preface Let me first preface with this: I have never shared these feelings, thoughts or other very close personal details before in my life. I do not cry "suicide" to get attention. If I wanted that, there are more effective ways to draw attention. If I were to draw attention, it would not be to me, but your own internal stigmas against it. If reading this you immediately had an emotional gut response to "save me", then keep reading. I have more juicy insights for you. Coming from someone who lingers and lurks at the edge of existence nearly daily, I want to share some insights from my perspective that might help you see and understand better. I am NOT saying my words are all that matter. I am merely sharing my perspective and my experiences with this feeling...

Yaba-2.0 is still in the works. This will come with an overhaul of the platform. I will still maintain yaba.markizano.net as a public interface to the app for you to be able to "try it before you buy it". However, I am going to expand on how the architecture will lay out with regards to a self-managed vs a hosted version of this application. Ideas keep coming on how I can manage this and I am so excited to share my designs with you and get your feedback on the direction being taken. This is still something we can construct together and build a team behind the project if it becomes useful. Yaba Recap If you're completely new to the project, welcome! Yaba is Yet Another Budgeting App. I got sick and tired of downloading CSV files from all my banks and managing them in complex Excel books just to be able to visualize my data around my spending so I can budget more efficiently. I built Yaba as a means of organizing my transactions in a way that's different than m...

 It's a real choice. I choose life every day. I have to. I face this decision every single day. Every. Single. Day. Some face a lack of love for the self and seek that from someone else. When they are denied that love, it's like denying life. They choose death. Some face a lack of love from their environment. When they are denied that love, it's like living in solitary confinement. We all know that's a death sentence to anyone. So they choose death. Some experience a guilt so strong it convinces them they do not belong. They do not deserve to exist here. I don't deserve to exist because I'm a mistake. My parents did not plan to conceive me. I was worse than an "accident" that we tried to correct. I was a complete failure and disappointment and they should have had an abortion. So they choose death. Sometimes, during the day or the night, you just feel like you want to logout for a while and take a break. You think you can come back, but it's like S...

Fear of Success. It's real. What if I do succeed? What if I do reach the top? Will it be everything I wanted? Planting my feet directly upon others faces; a direct example of the disrespect required to stand here, right? Standing atop a pile of corpses; proof of my dedication to my goal that I will stop at nothing. Looking down at you for the inferior being you are; seeing you for the insignificant insect you really are to me. Looking out upon the horizon and seeing the waste as a result of my actions. Yes, waste is a byproduct of success. Success must be this, right? Does it? What if ... Stepping gently on the shoulders of giants and allowing them to raise me up. A testament of their love, devotion and support for me. Standing in front of a crew of smiling faces. An example of the chosen family that follows and lends me their strength. Looking down at those that have helped me in great gratitude; seeing them for the beam of light that shines bright to show me my way. Peering at th...