Aspirations: 2024 Edition

I was once told by someone that I don't know what I want in life.

I wanted to make this post to refute that statement.

What do I want?

I know for absolute certainty that I don't want to be a nobody. That's who I am right now. If I died today? Who would really miss me? Who would really cry about me? The poor few souls I hold close and dear to my life?

Nobody knows who I am. Nobody knows what I have done and how much I care about humanity and how much I want to save people from their suffering.

The frustrating part is how much humans are dedicated to their suffering. I can't tell if this is by choice or design because I have my own inner demons to face and fight.

My fears are definitely one of them. My fears have been the reason I have been silent. My fears have allowed me to find the darkest corners of my mind and my life and make my peace with the fact that I will stay in the dark forever. I will stay in the shadows because fighting the demons is so hard and scary. My fear is I have no support. My fear is I have no friends who will face this with me because they are invisible enemies. How do you fight guilt, grief, regret and worry? I will remain a nobody for life and nobody will ever know the greatness that was the story of Markizano Draconus, a Tanninovian from 25k light years away and my pantheon that will become my religion. Nobody will ever know the power of Osash, the Online Services Auction Superhighway that will become the company and the mechanical hand that will enforce the 1% influence I could make that would steer us closer to humanity flourishing and minimizing our suffering as much as possible (or at least maximizing our use of it to get it out of the way or under control).

What I want is to execute on my six part plan to repair the system in the ways I can realistically build an app, a company and a process around repairing.

I want to instill this thought into every single human being: Every single person deserves food, water, shelter and love, no matter what.

No. Matter. What.

Thank you for being here and thank you for being human. Food, water, shelter and love is what every single human being deserves no matter their crimes or accomplishments. We show compassion to our kind in even the most heated of climates and debates. At the end of the day, do you really wish murder and death on someone else? If so, you may want to consider the cost that requires. To the left or the right, I don't give a fuck about your ideology. You are still human with a conscious mind and capable of complex thought. I believe in you and your capacity to do more, be more, be better. It's in our nature. So instead of seeking more negativity, seek more positive. The strongest power is in those with the highest sense of self-conduct.

I want a healthcare system where you see your doc and everything is paid for and taken care of. You don't need to pay the doc or insurance and insurance should be completely liquidated into health care centers. The people working for insurance can all go focus on things that ACTUALLY help humanity, not just the money for the rich old white man.

I want the efficient Atomizer. I want to be able to take our trash and put it into a device that breaks it down into the base elements that comprised of that thing you put into it without costing an insane amount of energy. From there, you can 3-D print whatever you want from that product. In this way, plastics and other waste from our infrastructure will never plague us again. We can get as close as we can to 99% recyclable.

I want a financial system that doesn't erode my value and ability to store my economic gains and isn't always funding someone else's drama and hate and pain (read: wars). I want my value to be maintained over time and be able to enjoy the life I work so hard to create for myself as everyone should have for themselves.

I want an education system that produces QUALITY and intelligent human beings not just workers like Henry Ford wanted. Today, we are faced with far too many people that lack a sense of self-conduct, consideration and empathy for others, lack of knowledge and even pride in their stupidity. He wanted an endless field of mindless workers, robots to basically run the factories and workshops. People want to produce and multiply for the sake of multiplying like a cancer cell. I want to provide purpose and drive towards a goal that the people can rally behind and support -- not just emotionally, but financially, structurally, and with integrity.

I want multi-system governance structures. We already have this in place today, we just call it stupid stuff like democracy and republicanism. That whole 2-party system is just broken and exacerbates hate. I mean, if you're a republican, look at how much you hate liberals and don't even know any. If you're a democrat, just look at how much you hate conservatives and don't even know them. Look at how much these IDEAS make you hate PEOPLE FOR NO FUCKING GOOD REASON! Can you not see the whole system is broken and it doesn't matter what candidate we pick? It's all rigged for those in power because we gave them our power. We stopped being smart and thoughtful and started acting like slaves in a broken system. We stopped having thoughtful conversations that help us learn and grow and started shouting louder and talking over another. They say don't talk about politics or religion. I have learned it's not because you shouldn't but because we have lost our ability to maintain our mental cortex in place long enough to lerarn from someone else's perspective. We're so caught up in our own perception and the narrative we create in our minds about stuff.

    If America ends up in a war, it will be America's fault. Nobody else is to blame because the rest of the worlds depends on America. Now because we have a bunch of adolescence in the clown house, the rest of the world is having to scurry to find other ways to sustain themselves before America turns into a bully and smites the world with its incompetence and inempathy.

I want to reduce jails down to the bare minimum and only preserve them for the most heinous humans that are otherwise uncontrollable. I think the penal system has gotten out of control because we just "lock up" so many humans that are actually decent people in a shitty situation. These are not "correction facilities" they are legalized modern day slavery! I want a penal system that actually does correct people and help with conditioning. The drug offenders are not criminals, they are patients who need help. I have seen this too much in my own family and around the places I've been. The others can be helped with the right kind of conditioning and environment conducive to making them working, contributing members of society.

As far as my relationships are concerned? Keith Robert Cromwell and William Edward Rayburn have broken those possibilities with me for life. Want to change my opinion on that? Show me a lifetime of dedication and devotion. I will never engage in a personal one-on-one relationship like that again. It's all just a side quest and doesn't allow me to live my full life. They never wanted to help me with my cause and it seems like nobody else does want to meet me at my ideology and help me with my end goal. This is why I am so serious about relationships. Do you really want to walk this path with me? I'll possibly a very famous gay man and that means lots of meetings will happen and lots of possibilities. I refuse to be tied down, naked, barefoot and pregnant with some self-fulfilling man who wants to live out his dream of a heteronormal relationship in a homosexual world, staring at me in his bed all day long and fucking and not doing a damn thing to help out society. I love my fellow man. I am here to serve my fellow man. I refuse to accept that I am here to serve just one single man.

If someone is going to walk with me on that path, they need to be strong like me. They need to be driven like me. They need to be self-sufficient. I am tired of raising children and ready to work with men who know better. Far too long, I have spent my life in the shadows being a nobody and watching this world rot from the inside out. A lack of personal self-conduct and stupidity are my biggest enemies.

I am NOT a nobody. That's for damn sure!

If you want to walk with me, I can guarantee you: My road is not easy because I'm paving a new one. My road is going to be rocky, difficult and a challenge of a lifetime because it will take a lifetime to fulfill. I want the world to cry for me when I'm gone like they did for Michael Jackson. I want to shower the world with so much love, even the farthest reaches of hate can't ignore me. I want to be a symbol of hope for the gay community, an example that you can be a masculine man without a lisp and still enjoy men. I want to be an example of how you can be rich, but also modest. I want to be an example of a CEO with a heart like Dan Price. I want to provide for those around me so they share in the abundance of all my hard work. Yes, I have aspirations and dreams far greater than the average person because I am not the average person. All my life I have been told "oh, you'd make such a great husband." to which I always thought "yeah, but who would make the right match for me???"   I'm a fucking unicorn!!!

If you walk with me though, just like the Shield Hero, I will protect you. I will care for you. I will ensure you have what you need so you can be your best. Not just with armor and shield, but also an emotional shield, sharp words like a sword that can cut through the lies and bullshit. Eyes that can see the truth behind every intention and see the human behind the ideology. I will show you love and you better not hoard it. Share it. Spread it. Love was not meant to be bottled. It was meant to be embraced with a hug. It was meant to be felt with a gesture. It was meant to be seen in the hearts of the many.

Have I answered your useless statement sufficiently? You, who cannot tell me what it is you want for yourself, nor in your life standing there before me with your finger pointed at me in a condescending tone telling me "I don't think you know what you want in life." Have I answered you sufficiently? Have I explained myself adequately? Or do you need another dissertation on what I want with more clarity? Just wait, I have a 6-point blog post coming out with my plans on how to solution all of this. I want better for this world. I want to love and be loved. I want to show everyone that they can be better and to be an example of that and lead by this example.

I apologize for my silence for so long. Again, I gave into my fears and allowed myself to be reduced to almost nothing. However, something from deep within cries out to be more. Something deep within has been dying on the inside and in so much pain amid all the silence. I need to get to work on these things. I have so much that needs to be done and I can't do it all by myself. At some point, I will need to build a team and a company. However, first, I need to overcome the shadow that tells me I am not worthy of running a company.